Tag Archives: Unity

Desideratum

17 Monday Oct 2022

Posted by in Poetry, Writing

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View From the Top of Knob Hill in Edwards, CO

This week’s post is a poem inspired by various musings. The study I’ve been conducting on Isaiah 45:7 has been foremorst in my mind and I was recently blessed with the opportunity to spend some time in nature. I had expected it would be a time to more deeply experience the Holy Spirit and, while it was, it didn’t happen the way I thought it would. I’ve been thinking on that experience as well and then remembered 1 Kings 19:11-13. The result of all of that is this poem. 

Desideratum
I had a great gift given me
To seek a place I could be still
I had come to the trail's head
And I started up the hill
I felt myself battered & crushed
Convinced all Man touches he destroys
And I needed time to be away
Escape from all the noise.

I wanted time alone with You
Without my mind being swarmed
By all the screeching clamoring
I wished a deeper connection formed
With no more concrete underfoot
I was sure I'd hear the sound
Of Your voice-but though I listened close
I heard nothing from the ground.

A storm was brewing in the mountains
And though it wouldn't reach me for some time
A breeze arose which refreshed and cooled
Soothed me during my climb
I was sure as I ascended
And the air around me thinned
I'd hear You speaking loud and clear
But You were not in the wind.

At last I reached the hilltop
There was no one else around
I sat down to rest a bit
On a small bench I had found
I wondered if I'd hear You now
That I sat still on my own
But all I had was certainty
I was not sitting there alone.

Your Presence was there with me
And at once I began to sing
A song of Your lovingkindness
I felt my soul within take wing
Buoyed by no strength of mine
But a stirring deep inside
I heard You sing along with me
From that place where You abide.

Nature is all well and good
It is important to take rest
But I need not ever search for You
I remember how I'm blessed
In You I live and have my being
Your Spirit lives inside of me
And I do not need to look elsewhere
We exist in seamless unity.

I rise and begin my descent
In a very different mood
Than the one I had started in
I am healed and renewed
This truth I have I must declare
Perhaps I will write a poem
And tell all Your Love Purpose
Is to make each heart Your home.



My Feet Are on the Rock

08 Monday Aug 2022

Posted by in Isaiah 45:7, Personal Essays, Studies, Writing

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Happy Monday and welcome to another post on Renaissance Woman.

Does anyone remember the poem The Blind Men and the Elephant by John Godfrey Saxe?  It’s a poem about six blind men who seek out an elephant so that, by observation, they might understand the creature.  Each of the six men encounter a different part of the elephant and liken it to something familiar: a wall, a snake, a fan, etc.  The last stanza of the poem states, “So, oft in theologic wars/The disputants, I ween/Rail on in utter ignorance/Of what each other mean/And prate about an Elephant/Not one of them has seen!”

Last week I posted on the Hebrew letters that comprise Shin ש and how I’ve come across two schools of thought on that.  One is that the letter is comprised of Vavs and Yods and the other is that the letter is a Yod, a Vav, and a Zayin.  Which is correct?  I don’t care one way or the other because, as I followed both paths, I found myself in the same place: 3 Vavs and 4 Yods give me the number 7 which is Spiritual Perfection and the number of the Zayin is 7 which is Spiritual Perfection.  I found value in looking at both but the study did get me thinking.   

I cannot count how many times over the past weeks and months I’ve heard believers of various denominations stress the importance of “sound doctrine.”  I have found “that’s not sound doctrine” is used as the final hammer strike on the last nail in the coffin of another person’s argument but there are times when the speaker will explain just what they believe sound doctrine to be.  I listen and sometimes agree and other times disagree.  This made me wonder, just who decides what “sound doctrine” is?  I see one denomination convinced what they teach is the soundest doctrine of all unlike this denomination whose teachings are based on false interpretations of scripture and definitely not like this other denomination whose teachings are a delusion of Satan.  I must infer then, that by “sound doctrine” what they actually mean is, “what our denomination teaches.”

What is doctrine?  The definition of the word is, “something taught, teachings, something taught as the principles or creed of a religion, political party, etc.; tenet or tenets; belief; dogma, a rule, theory, or principle of law.”  There is nothing in this definition that suggests a personal knowing and relationship is necessary.  Such is also what I find in those insisting everyone have sound doctrine: there is only a rare mention of knowing God for yourself.  I am not concerned with sound doctrine.  I am concerned with knowing the Father because knowing Him and knowing Jesus Christ is the very definition of eternal life.  “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John 17:3). 

I recently read a book called Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose.  When the author married her first husband, Rev. C. Russell Deibler, she and her husband both knew they were called to the Mission Field and, specifically, the Philippines.  Mrs. Deibler was several years younger than her husband and had just graduated from school.  She relates in her book that, before the Church would allow her to accompany her husband to the Philippines, they tested her in doctrine and theology.  She passed the tests and was allowed to go.  While in the Philippines, World War II broke out and Japan took over the islands.  Mrs. Deibler and her husband were interred in separate camps where her husband died.  Mrs. Deibler spent four years in various camps and I was struck by how it was not doctrine or theology that sustained her: it was the vitality of her relationship with Jesus Christ.  Mrs. Deibler-Rose writes, “Experientially, I was learning to understand the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  Sometime during the dark hours I slept.  The sword of sorrow had pierced deep within me, but He had bathed the sword in oil.”  

This book gave a graphic picture of the difference between having doctrine-which is by definition a lifeless thing-and having a vital relationship with the Living God.  To me, those quibbling over whether or not someone’s doctrine is sound are like the blind men quibbling over the elephant.  Not one of them was wrong per se but neither were any of them correct.  Not one of them had fully seen. 

There is a passage in Colossians I’ve been meditating on for some time: “Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body, nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God” (Colossians 2:18-19).  Our reward is Christ Jesus.  He is our very Life.  In Him, we are made one with the Father.  Everything the Father has belongs to Jesus.  Everything Jesus has is ours because His Spirit lives within us and declares it to us.  (See John 16:13-15)

I know this not only because the Bible tells me so but because I KNOW HIM!  He is real!  He is alive!  He is alive in me right now!  This is not something reserved for the future.  It is not something I earn if I follow Jesus’ example and live a moral life.  He freely gives Himself to me, teaches me who He is, and brings me into relationship with Himself.  There is no substitute for knowing Him and this knowing is my litmus test.  I don’t compare what I hear from others with any doctrine: the Spirit within me guides me into all truth.  Jesus Himself is that absolute living truth and, as He has joined me to Himself, I am one spirit with Him.

Let none of us allow ourselves to be cheated of our reward by anyone who has not seen.  Let us hold fast to the Head who is Christ Jesus.  Let us test everything and hold fast to what is true.  “Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection…” and, finally, let us “no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the trickery of men in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ…” (Hebrews 6:1, Ephesians 4:15)

Amen.

All Scriptures are quoted from The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

References

The poems of John Godfrey Saxe/The Blind Men and the Elephant – Wikisource, the free online library

Guralnik, David B., Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition, Williams Collins + World Publishing Co., Inc., Cleveland • New York, 1970, 1974

Rose, Darlene Deibler, Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II, A Ruth Graham Dienert Book, Harper San Francisco, Harper Collins Publishers, New York, New York, 1988

Wellspring of Peace

25 Monday Jul 2022

Posted by in Isaiah 45:7, Studies

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Hello and welcome-or welcome back-to Renaissance Woman.  This week I am continuing my study of Isaiah 45:7 specifically “peace”. 

I remembered Malcolm Smith had done a lecture series on the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) and, curious what he had to say about peace, I found and listened to them.  The Hebrew word translated “peace” in my study passage is shalom and, in the first Peace lecture, Mr. Smith explores all the word means.

First of all, shalom is not merely the absence of war.  Shalom describes union-the fitting together of two or more, and it means harmony, melody, covenant friendship.  Shalom is reconciliation, wholeness, completeness, tranquility of heart, and a sense of well-being.  Mr. Smith also says shalom is abundance.  Shalom doesn’t stay inside of us.  It comes out through our words and hands and brings abundance because it springs from a mind that thinks abundance or thinks in terms of “enough”.

I have had ample opportunity to think about these definitions of peace.  I have been going through a great deal over the last weeks.  I believe it is a Holy Spirit truth that He does not guide me into a path of study without also guiding me through situations where I get to experience just what I’m studying.  I have wondered “how am I going to pay for this”, “what am I going to do about that”, and “I have no idea how to begin to deal with this other thing.”  I have needed Peace and there have been times I have felt anything but peaceful.  I have Mr. Smith’s definitions written down and my thoughts have not progressed far beyond the first definition he gives: that of Union. 

I know my Father is with me no matter what I am going through and no matter how I might feel about it.  He cannot leave me.  We are united, fitted together, One Spirit because I am joined to the Lord Jesus Christ in and through the Holy Spirit.  This is a truth that deserves celebration and peace and yet it is one that is also frustrating.  He is with me.  I am in Him and He is in me.  In Him I live and move and have my being every iota of every day.  This being so, if He would just tell me what I should do next, where were going, and what exactly is going to happen, then I would have peace. 

I don’t know about any of your experiences with living life out of the Holy Spirit but He has never done that for me.  I pray about a situation, put it entirely in His hands (something I often have to do over and over), trust that He will handle it, and then ask Him to open my eyes so I can see how He has chosen to handle it.  The path ahead is never completely clear.  A door will appear to open and all I can do is try and walk through it.  Sometimes it will be an open door but sometimes, while the door itself will close, it will have opened a pathway to learning something I did not know and experiencing something new: in this case, peace.

Union.  What does it mean?  There are various groups of people who are united around an idea or a creed but this is agreement rather than union.  True union belongs to God.  We find it in the heart of God in that mysterious union of Father, Son, and Spirit.  We are included in this union in Jesus Christ by His Spirit living within us.  This union is vital and alive.  I have seen a picture of this vital union during my study of the Hebrew Letter Shin and I was not surprised Mr. Smith’s first definition of shalom was union as the first letter of shalom is the Shin.

I’ve looked at Shin twice before and shared how the word Shin means urine and, without the Yod; means tooth, claw, or jaw.  The picture is of chewing food, breaking it down, digesting it, and then eliminating it as waste.  Shin represents the totality of an overall process, one that is whole, entire, intact, complete, integral, full, and perfect. (1)  This process is one that is repeated over and over and, considering the learning process, what we repeat over and over becomes inculcated within us.2

I have also found Shin is the letter in the Hebrew word for fire (esh), and begins and ends the word for the sun (shemesh).  The three upraised arms of the letter Shin represent the flames of fire.  Here too is the idea of consuming and, thinking of the refining of gold or silver; there is once more the idea of processing and completion.

While conducting my study on Isaiah 45:7, I have also been reading a series of studies on the Book of Revelation.  I have just finished the section on Revelation Chapter 12 so have the Woman in the Wilderness fresh in my mind.  She is persecuted by the dragon but is given two wings of a great eagle so she can fly into the wilderness to her place where she is nourished. (Verses 13-14).  The wilderness is a dangerous place where food and water are scarce and yet the woman has a place in it and it is a place where she is nourished.  This was called to mind when I looked up Shin in Mr. Haralick’s book and saw he gives it the definition of Cosmic Nourishment.

I can attest to everything I’ve written in this post being true because I’ve experienced it.  My life will be full of knowledge of the Holy Spirit and awareness that I am in the midst of great rivers and streams and then those rivers and streams dry up and I find myself in a barren wilderness with no idea what’s going to happen or where I’m going to go next.  I read in those same Revelation studies that God calls us to the wilderness places, not to torment us, but to bring us into a deeper revelation, relationship, and reliance on Him.  I see this is true because there is a specific place in the wilderness for the woman where she is nourished.  She is not cast into the wilderness to wander aimlessly until she drops dead.  No, she is cared for.

Knowing it is true doesn’t make it easy.  The pain is real.  The circumstances are real.  The worry and helplessness are real.  I do not feel nourished and cared for right away.  I know God is with me.  I know He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I know our union is one that cannot be dissolved no matter what happens.  Yet I know I am in a tight place with no way out, totally helpless, and all I can do is wait until He rescues me.  My attitude is not always one of faithful submission.  It’s more, “a little help here!  Now!”

I am still in the wilderness.  I don’t know what will happen from one day to the next.  I still feel the grinding and processing revealed by the Shin.  In the midst of it, the refreshing and nourishment has come so I can also attest to the faithfulness of our God.  He is with me, always, even unto the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).  He does make a way where there is no way and the spring of peace has just begun to bubble to the surface.   

Inculcate: to tread in, tread down, to trample underfoot, to impress upon the mind by frequent repetition or persistent urging

  1. Haralick, Robert M., The Inner Meaning of the Hebrew Letters, Jason Aronson Inc., Northvale, New Jersey, 1995, Page 295
  2. Ibid.

Other References:

(1) WEBINAR 273 – Peace Makers – YouTube

The Woman in the Wilderness

The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

Bentorah, Chaim, Hebrew Word Study Beyond the Lexicon, Trafford Publishing, USA, 2014, Pages 148-152

Guralnik, David B., Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition, William Collins + World Publishing Co., Inc., Cleveland•New York, 1970, 1976

In the Midst

23 Monday May 2022

Posted by in Isaiah 45:7, Personal Essays, Studies, Walking in the Way, Writing

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My Dad called them “God’s Calling Cards.”  He meant those instances in our lives that are attributed to coincidence but, when seen through the lens of us living and moving and having our being in Jesus Christ; are recognized as God’s Calling Cards.

I have had these little coincidences on my mind over the last few weeks and was discussing them with a co-worker when I remembered my Dad’s term for them.  I’ve continued to meditate on them and have been looking at them in terms of my study on darkness.

But first, some context for these Calling Cards.  I am now recovering from surgery-less than four years after my last one-to remove yet another tumor.  The particular path I’m on started in 2017 when my Primary Care Physician found a lump in my breast.  No doubt a cyst fueled by hormones but it still needed to be looked at.  I started praying immediately.  I know Jesus bore all my sicknesses and iniquities so of course I was healed.  Except I wasn’t.  I was referred to a specialist who ran tests and said the lump didn’t look right which led to another referral and a biopsy.  I then had to wait for the results of that biopsy and I spent days wondering “what if?”  Would it be benign or did I have the C-word?  I wrote about this in my post Just a Butterfly and I will include a link at the bottom of this post in case anyone is interested in reading it.

I didn’t have to have this lump surgically removed but it did seem to be a catalyst for a cascade of tests and procedures culminating in the major surgery in December of 2018.  I had fought for years to avoid it.  I’d tried diet, exercise, prayer…nothing worked.  Once more my concerned PCP referred me to a specialist who was also a surgeon and who ended up removing thirteen fibroids from my abdomen.  It was both a devastating surgery and yet a blessing because I was freed from quite a bit of pain.  I began walking the road to recovery whilst also striving to understand, where was God in all of this?  Where was my healing?  If I’m to expect results when I pray, what results should I be expecting? 

I was sure that surgery in 2018 would be my last.  Then only a year later another growth appeared in a different part of my body.  It also ended up being benign and the procedure to remove it was relatively minor.  Just a snip and a couple days recovery but it did concern me.  This growth could not be attributed to hormone imbalance or endometriosis.  Was my body randomly growing tumors?  What if one grew in my brain?  Was there anything I could do to stop them?

And then, I began experiencing weird pain in my abdomen.  Once more, my concerned PCP sent me for a test then referred me to a specialist who took another test and then went “hmm…that doesn’t look right” and referred me to an Oncologist.  Once more, I’ve had surgery to remove a rather large tumor-or endometrial lesion-and once more I am grateful the growth is benign.  I am again walking the road to recovery but I will say this time it is different.  I do not wonder where God is in all of this: I have seen Him in a series of coincidences.

I intended to discuss my weird pain with my Doctor at an appointment in January of this year but then I contracted the ‘rona and had to postpone.  The earliest I could get was June.  No big deal.  I was sure it was nothing serious.  Then my Doctor’s office called and confirmed my appointment in March.  I didn’t have an appointment in March.  There had to be a cancellation and I had to be penciled in but no one called me to ask if I was available: they called to confirm. The appointment was scheduled for the next day and I had no conflict so I went.  I ended up having a CT scan that afternoon which put me on the referral and tests path I’ve already mentioned.  I met with the Oncologist on a Friday and was scheduled for surgery the following Monday.  I write this two weeks into my recovery and I can’t help but think of all the things that just happened to fall into place so that I am on the road to recovery a full month before that June appointment. 

There has not been a moment when I have not known God with me.  I don’t do well with surgery.  Anesthesia is not my friend and recovery is difficult for me.  Recovery from this last surgery was especially difficult and I ended up having to spend an extra day in the hospital.  This was hard news to take and I had a moment where I thought I might tear out my IV and run screaming.  Or shuffle screaming, as the incision made running impossible.  I clung to God in that moment and knew He was with me.  I was not only aware of His presence but felt His touch in the hands of my care-givers.  I don’t know anything personal about anyone who nursed me: I do know that each person who cared for me showed me kindness, gentleness, and the true meaning of ministry which is to serve. 

What do I expect from God?  He has not come crashing into any of these situations, snapped His fingers, and made any of these growths disappear.  He has not delivered me unless you count sixteen separate growths-not counting moles removed-and not one of them being cancerous as deliverance.  He has not spared me trials on top of the pain and issues I deal with from the car accident.  What He has done is knit Himself to me in the midst of these situations and made me so aware of His presence that I’ve gone through them without fear.  I have not been a paragon of faith:  I may have begged a bit when it became clear I wasn’t going to get to go home but even then, He was with me.  He was faithful every moment.

Faithful every moment.  That is what I see in this study of darkness.  The Hebrew letters spelling darkness-Chet, Shin, and Caph-reveal to me a picture of the God who is Love with me every moment.  Even when it feels the circumstances of my life are chewing me up and spitting me out (Shin), there is nothing I go through alone.  He is not hidden from me nor I from Him but He holds me in the palm of His hand (Caph).  I am not only held but His Spirit is poured out on me and in me and His life is knit to mine (Chet).  I’ve started looking deeper into the word bara which is translated “create” and one of my Teachers told me bara meant “to fill”.  I am looking deeper into that but find that definition beautiful.  He fills my darkness with Himself.

My study of darkness brought me to Psalm 18 and verse 11 in particular. My NKJV begins this verse as, “He made darkness His secret place.”  The New Living says “He shrouded Himself in darkness” and the English Standard Version has, “He made darkness His covering”.  I wondered about this verse because, at first glance, it did seem to be saying that God hides Himself in darkness which didn’t make much sense.  Once I’d looked a little further into the meaning of darkness, looked into the context of the Psalm, and discussed it with two of my Teachers, this passage became so wonderfully clear.  My Bible places this Psalm within the time period of King David’s fleeing from King Saul.  Reading through the Psalm, I can see David was not having a pleasant time: the pangs of death and sorrows of Sheol surround him.  His enemies are too strong for him, he is hated, and he refers to “his day of calamity”.  He is in darkness.

But!  The Lord God comes with darkness under His feet!  He made the darkness His secret place, He fills it, and His brilliance destroys it from within.  The Lord lights the lamp and enlightens the darkness.  I am reminded of what I shared two weeks ago that the eye is referred to as a lamp in the NT.  It is as the eyes of our understanding are enlightened and made single by the Holy Spirit-and the Greek carries the idea of being braided with-that He enlightens our darkness.  This Psalm in particular stayed with me because, throughout this entire process, I could see the truth written in this beautiful Psalm: God armed me with strength, He set me in a broad path, and He upheld me.  Even when I didn’t fully understand why things were happening the way they were, He filled every moment with Himself.

I have “what if” thoughts: I can’t help that.  All I can do is answer every “what if” with the truth “God is with me.”  I mentioned having to stay an extra night in the hospital.  I’d been told my stay would be one night only so, when I couldn’t stop being ill and had to stay that extra night, I panicked a little.  I am a disabled person with no disability benefits (which is a long story in itself) and I only work part time.  On top of dealing with the physical difficulties, I worried about the cost of that extra night, what my insurance would do, and what bills might be coming my way, etc.  A couple of days after being released, I received a letter from my insurance.  The surgeon had submitted me for two days stay and my insurance had approved it.  It’s such a small thing but it’s another one of those little coincidences.  Here I was panicking and feeling like a failure.  If willpower was any sort of power at all, I’d have been able to get better and would never have stayed that extra night.  All I could do was trust that He was bigger than even this and then the letter arrived showing me it had all been taken care of before the surgery began. 

Truly, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself goes before me and is with me.  He never leaves me nor forsakes me.  There is never a circumstance that discourages me or fills me with fear (See Deuteronomy 31: 8, Isaiah 45:2).  He fills not only the darkness but all things (Ephesians 4:10).  In Him I live and move and have my being and, because He lives and lives in me; I can face tomorrow and whatever else might come. 

Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  Amen.

Just a Butterfly

Unless noted otherwise, all scriptures are quoted from The New King James Version of The Holy Bible, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

References

Bentorah, Chaim, Hebrew Word Study: Beyond the Lexicon, Trafford Publishing, 2014, Pages 92, 108, 148

Haralick, Robert M., The Inner Meaning of the Hebrew Letters, Jason Aronson Inc., Northvale, New Jersey, 1995, Pages 113, 161, 293

choshek, “darkness,” strong’s H2822 (alittleperspective.com)

(2) “Darkness” in ancient Hebrew! (Part I) – YouTube

God’s Appointed Times: Aleph Tav Meaning (godsappointedtimes.com)

Translation

11 Monday Apr 2022

Posted by in Poetry, Writing

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Translation
I did not know I walked in darkness
until I saw the light
I loved alongside my fellows-each one
doing what we thought right
We did not always agree on this
which meant we had to fight
But that was just the way it was
we could not escape our plight.

We trusted those who seemed to have
the gift of clearer sight
We bowed the knee to those who could
enforce their vision by their might
It was always there of course
that tiny shining light
But if I kept my back to it
It didn't shine too bright.

The light refused to be put out
and steadily it shone
Stranger still-I heard it speak
in a gentle, tender tone
It promised It would care for me 
said I was not alone
Strangest of all the Voice itself
was one I'd always known.

I tried to share the Voice's words
My fellows began to wail and moan
"All lies!" they said; "You can't believe
a thing that you've been shown
It isn't care at all you'll find
but a cold and merciless throne
It will enslave you and then kill you
for the Light consumes its own".

Part of me believed them because
they sounded so sincere
And I could not deny try as I might
I couldn't always hear
The Voice that flowed out from the light
Its words weren't always clear.
I knew if I wished to hear them so
I would have to draw near.

Came the day I could hold out no more
and though my heart leapt within in fear
I began to walk towards the light
leaving all I had held dear
Though many warned me not to go
I didn't turn an ear
Away from the voice that called to me
I could not cease to hear.

The Light grew as I approached until
it was all I could see
As I entered into it I found
It had entered into me
As I dwelt inside the light
I made a discovery
The Light was not an It at all
but Personality.

In Him I was cared for-I was safe
My sense of enmity
Was something that the darkness birthed
there was no need to flee
From the truth He'd rule o'er all my life
I chose to bend my knee
Both His death and life in me now meant
We lived in unity.

I still hear the voices of the dark
that unrelenting din
Some are strange ones I ignore-
some are kith and kin
Who seek to call me back to them
I seek the right words to begin
To explain there is no more going out
but they can all come in.

There is naught to fear inside His Light
this new life is akin
To the greatest intimacy of all and yet
greater than all have ever been
Us in Him and Him in us
is how we live herein
And anything that might be lost  
cannot compare to all we win!