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~ Test All Things; Hold Fast What is Good-1 Thessalonians 5:21

Renaissance Woman

Category Archives: Writing

Reconciled

13 Monday Feb 2023

Posted by Kate in Poetry, Writing

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Christ in Me, Forgiveness, Heart of God, Holy Spirit, Indwelling Spirit, Poems, Poetry, Reconciliation

Hello Readers!

My shoulder injury acted up so I couldn’t type up a post for the Isaiah 45:7 study. Instead, I’m posting a poem I wrote years ago after a particularly devastating crisis. The poem still resonates with me and makes me think of 2 Corinthians 5:19: “It was God (personally present) in Christ, reconciling and restoring the world to favor with Himself, not counting up and holding against (men) their trespasses (but cancelling them), and committing to us (of the restoration to favor)” (Amplified).

While living any aspect of the Christian Life is impossible without the Holy Spirit, perhaps especially so is seeing those who have done us great wrong as beloved of and reconciled to God. But, because the Holy Spirit dwells within us, it is possible to see even those who have terribly hurt us with the eyes of Jesus Christ and know what His heart longs for them. That is the message I tried to convey in this poem. I hope the poem blesses you.

Reconciled
How could I have made such a mistake?
How could I have missed when he lied?
My God, where are you?-I looked deep inside;
Where are You? Where are You?, I cried.
I'm a fool, a failure, I've damaged my pride,
How could I have not seen at all?
My God, where are You?-I looked deep inside;
Where are You? Where are You?, I cried.
I am flooded with doubts-they come on all sides,
I cannot escape them-I've tried.
My God, where are You? I searched far and wide;
Where are You? Where are You?, I cried.
Did I ignore them? The warnings? The signs?
Were they in fact there all the time?
My God, where are You? I feel like I've died.
Where are You? Where are You?, I cried.
Perhaps I was wrong-the Shepherd's voice,
Perhaps I can't hear it at all.
My God, where are You? I looked deep inside;
Are You there? I need You?, I cried.
I am here, He answered, I was here all along,
Every moment-along for the ride.
My God, where were You? I searched far and wide,
I need You to hold me!, I cried.
Always, My Child, you are here in my hand,
Be still and know I am Yours.
My God, forgive me!, I sobbed and I cried.
Help me forgive him, I've tried.
My blood covers all things, both his faults and yours-
Do not let them trouble you more.
My God, I thank you. I breathed and I sighed.
I know it's in You I abide.

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Resolution

02 Monday Jan 2023

Posted by Kate in Poetry, Writing

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Favorite Poets, Heart, Indwelling Spirit, Inspiration, Inspired Poetry, Kingdom Life, Love Poems, Poem, Poems, Poems about Jesus, Poet, Poetry

Welcome to Renaissance Woman and the first post of 2023!

I will be continuing my study of Isaiah 45:7 in the upcoming weeks but, for today, I am sharing a poem. This poem is inspired by one of my all time favorites: [i carry your heart with me (i carry it in] by E.E. Cummings. You can read it here.

Resolution
My Love, we've counted down another year
As years are measured by the clock
Time has come to remember and
Spend a moment taking stock
Of where we've been and where we are
How far we've come and have yet to go
To make a brand-new resolution
Though what may come I cannot know.

My Love, we've ascended heights
Far above all I could have dreamt
But lows there have been as well
Traversing them left me spent
You, My Love, were always with me
You led, You guided, sustained, upheld
I must admit-as I look back-
There's been no good thing You've withheld.

My Love, I look to this new year
One resolution only can there be
And that is to not resolve at all
Because I do not know-I cannot see
No resolution-I choose Your rest
For I do know this one thing is true
Day by day, age to age,
You bring me deeper into You.

The wonder is we are never apart
I am carried in Your heart-I carry You in my heart.

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Knowing His Rest

05 Monday Dec 2022

Posted by Kate in Personal Essays, Writing

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Christ in Me, Christian Life, Faith, Faith of Jesus, Fog, Holy Spirit, Indwelling Spirit, Kingdom Living, Living by Faith, Peace, Rest, Travel

Hello and welcome to a new post on Renaissance Woman!

This post is going up on the blog a bit later than usual as I travelled to San Antonio for the weekend to take part in a retreat.  The Bishop of my church was going to do some teaching and then we were all going to celebrate his 70 years in the ministry!  The theme of the weekend was “A Living Rest” and it was as I was on my way back home I saw the truth of that illustrated.

I have not travelled on my own in almost twenty years.  And, any travelling I have done has been as a passenger in a vehicle.  I have not flown anywhere in all that time.  It so happened my family could not travel with me to the retreat and, if I wanted to go, I was going to have to go on my own.  I did consider staying home but decided I couldn’t be a coward, I was a grown adult, and my brain injury was not going to keep me home.  It did not and, though I did experience struggles, everyone I asked for help was so incredibly nice and I got to where I needed to go with all my questions answered.

I had a marvelous time but was definitely ready to get home.  It was as I waited for my return flight that I sat in the airport watching the day grow darker and darker as the fog settled in.  I occasionally glanced at the board to see if the fog would be enough to cancel my flight but there was never a change in status.  Despite the thickening fog, my flight remained on time.

The day was still foggy and damp by the time I boarded my plane and took my window seat but the pilot and flight attendants made their announcements and the flight attendants made their final checks.  The pilots began taxiing away from the terminal.

I was enjoying watching it all through the window: the different colored lights, the way the pilots so easily maneuvered that massive plane away from the terminal and onto the runway.  A gray fog still hung over the other planes and various buildings and I could only continue to watch as the pilots fired up the engines and took off, apparently unperturbed by the fog. 

Then, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  My seat was directly over the wing and I could easily see one of the engines outside my window.  As the plane rose into the air, the engine was all I could see.  Anything else including the ground from which we were pulling away, was obliterated from sight by thick fog. 

I was certain the pilots couldn’t be relying on their own sight: they couldn’t be able to distinguish anything more than I could.  No doubt they had to be relying on their instruments which must be so sophisticated that they render human eyesight unnecessary.  The pilots must have implicit trust, not only in their training but in their instruments, that taking off into a blinding fog wasn’t worth a second thought.

As for me, I was in control of nothing.  Lift off or cancellation, none of it was my choice.  All I could do was sit in my seat and trust the pilots.  My trust was both in their abilities and in their trust in the capabilities of the aircraft.

That trust was not misplaced.  In only a few moments, the plane had ascended above the clouds themselves and there wasn’t a wisp of fog to be seen.  The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and I was on my way home.  As I looked out at the clouds spread out as far as my eye could see and lit by the sun, I saw illustrated what I had learned at the retreat.

A close translation of Galatians 2:20 is, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, the One loving me and giving Himself over on my behalf.” (See the Literal, King James, and Greek Interlinear)  I’ve mentioned it before but it fascinates me that the Greek tou, which is not 3588 in the Strong’s Concordance but 5120, appears three times in this passage and is translated “in”, “of”, and “the (One)”. 

It may seem like splitting hairs but I find there is a massive difference between living my life by faith in the Son of God and living by faith of the Son of God.  Within the context of my illustration, I could have freaked out, gripped the armrests of my seat, and said over and over, “I have faith in the pilots, I have faith in the plane, I have faith that weird noise I heard doesn’t mean the engine is about to fly off this wing.”  Or, I could do as I did and rest in my seat, marveling that the fog was no deterrent to their taking off and knowing that as long as the pilots and flight attendants remained calm, there was no reason for me not to do so.  I suppose I could say my faith was “in” them but it wasn’t, not really.  My faith was their faith and I could enjoy the takeoff in perfect rest because the pilots and flight attendants knew what I did not and the pilots could see what I could not.

One of my Bible Teachers shares a similar illustration.  He was on a flight that began to experience turbulence and was getting nervous but then saw the flight attendant in her seat scrolling through her phone, unfazed by being bounced around.  I see exactly what he is saying as we encountered turbulence coming into Denver.  I looked around to see the cabin shifting back and forth and could feel the plane bump and jerk.  I looked out to see the wing raising and lowering and realized the pilots weren’t fighting the turbulence but were-quite literally-rolling with it.  One of the flight attendants then announced that while we were experiencing some turbulence, it was quite normal to do so coming into Denver.  Again, I could rest in their experience and knowledge.

Jesus Himself is my living rest.  Jesus is my forerunner (Hebrews 6:20).  He is the One who is far above all principality and power and might and dominion and every name that is named (Ephesians 1:21).  He declares the end from the beginning and from ancient times things that are not yet done (Isaiah 46:10).  My faith is His faith made a reality in me through the indwelling of His Spirit.  There are so many times I am following the leading of the Spirit and yet fog settles into the situation and I cannot see the outcome.  Lift off or cancellation?  The result is entirely out of my control.  Yet I rest.  I rest in Jesus Christ who has overcome the world.  I rest in the certainty that He sees what I cannot.

Just one more observation before I close: once the plane was above the clouds, it appeared as if we were hovering.  I knew that wasn’t possible and that the plane was travelling at hundreds maybe thousands of miles per hour. (I have since Googled it and found the average airspeed of a 747 is 550mph).  And so, even though I looked as though we weren’t moving at all, I knew that wasn’t the truth.

I have these times in my Christian life as well.  My vision is not obscured: the sun is shining and the sky is blue.  And yet I looks to me as if I am not making any progress at all.  Here too, my faith is the faith of Jesus Christ.  Because He is in me and I am in Him, I share His Oneness with the Father who has created me in Christ Jesus for good works which He prepared beforehand so that I would walk in them (See Ephesians 2:10).  Not only that, but I know His word is true and that He who has begun a good work in me will continue to perfect and complete it until the Day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).  It doesn’t matter how it may appear to me for I am in the current of the Holy Spirit and we are ever pressing on towards the goal.

Jesus Christ is the perfect gift given by the Father for the world.  I in Him and Him in me I find not only my very life but a perfect living rest.

Praise His name!  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!

Amen.

References

Galatians 2:20 Interlinear: with Christ I have been crucified, and live no more do I, and Christ doth live in me; and that which I now live in the flesh — in the faith I live of the Son of God, who did love me and did give himself for me; (biblehub.com)

Green, Jay P., The Interlinear Bible: Hebrew Greek English, Volume 4, Authors for Christ, Inc., Lafayette, Indiana, 1985

Marshall, Reverend A., The Interlinear Greek-English New Testament, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1958,1970

Strong, James, LL.D., S.T.D., The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1990

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Desideratum

17 Monday Oct 2022

Posted by Kate in Poetry, Writing

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Tags

Connection, Creation, Hiking, Indwelling Spirit, Inspiration, Inspired Poetry, Nature, Poem, Poet, Poetry, Prayer, Unity

View From the Top of Knob Hill in Edwards, CO

This week’s post is a poem inspired by various musings. The study I’ve been conducting on Isaiah 45:7 has been foremorst in my mind and I was recently blessed with the opportunity to spend some time in nature. I had expected it would be a time to more deeply experience the Holy Spirit and, while it was, it didn’t happen the way I thought it would. I’ve been thinking on that experience as well and then remembered 1 Kings 19:11-13. The result of all of that is this poem.

Desideratum
I had a great gift given me
To seek a place I could be still
I had come to the trail's head
And I started up the hill
I felt myself battered & crushed
Convinced all Man touches he destroys
And I needed time to be away
Escape from all the noise.

I wanted time alone with You
Without my mind being swarmed
By all the screeching clamoring
I wished a deeper connection formed
With no more concrete underfoot
I was sure I'd hear the sound
Of Your voice-but though I listened close
I heard nothing from the ground.

A storm was brewing in the mountains
And though it wouldn't reach me for some time
A breeze arose which refreshed and cooled
Soothed me during my climb
I was sure as I ascended
And the air around me thinned
I'd hear You speaking loud and clear
But You were not in the wind.

At last I reached the hilltop
There was no one else around
I sat down to rest a bit
On a small bench I had found
I wondered if I'd hear You now
That I sat still on my own
But all I had was certainty
I was not sitting there alone.

Your Presence was there with me
And at once I began to sing
A song of Your lovingkindness
I felt my soul within take wing
Buoyed by no strength of mine
But a stirring deep inside
I heard You sing along with me
From that place where You abide.

Nature is all well and good
It is important to take rest
But I need not ever search for You
I remember how I'm blessed
In You I live and have my being
Your Spirit lives inside of me
And I do not need to look elsewhere
We exist in seamless unity.

I rise and begin my descent
In a very different mood
Than the one I had started in
I am healed and renewed
This truth I have I must declare
Perhaps I will write a poem
And tell all Your Love Purpose
Is to make each heart Your home.



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My Feet Are on the Rock

08 Monday Aug 2022

Posted by Kate in Isaiah 45:7, Personal Essays, Studies, Writing

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Bible Study, Christ in Me, Christ Life, Christian Life, Doctrine, Hebrew Letters, Holy Spirit, Indwelling Spirit, Relationship, Revelation, Revelation of Jesus, Unity, Wisdom

Happy Monday and welcome to another post on Renaissance Woman.

Does anyone remember the poem The Blind Men and the Elephant by John Godfrey Saxe?  It’s a poem about six blind men who seek out an elephant so that, by observation, they might understand the creature.  Each of the six men encounter a different part of the elephant and liken it to something familiar: a wall, a snake, a fan, etc.  The last stanza of the poem states, “So, oft in theologic wars/The disputants, I ween/Rail on in utter ignorance/Of what each other mean/And prate about an Elephant/Not one of them has seen!”

Last week I posted on the Hebrew letters that comprise Shin ש and how I’ve come across two schools of thought on that.  One is that the letter is comprised of Vavs and Yods and the other is that the letter is a Yod, a Vav, and a Zayin.  Which is correct?  I don’t care one way or the other because, as I followed both paths, I found myself in the same place: 3 Vavs and 4 Yods give me the number 7 which is Spiritual Perfection and the number of the Zayin is 7 which is Spiritual Perfection.  I found value in looking at both but the study did get me thinking.   

I cannot count how many times over the past weeks and months I’ve heard believers of various denominations stress the importance of “sound doctrine.”  I have found “that’s not sound doctrine” is used as the final hammer strike on the last nail in the coffin of another person’s argument but there are times when the speaker will explain just what they believe sound doctrine to be.  I listen and sometimes agree and other times disagree.  This made me wonder, just who decides what “sound doctrine” is?  I see one denomination convinced what they teach is the soundest doctrine of all unlike this denomination whose teachings are based on false interpretations of scripture and definitely not like this other denomination whose teachings are a delusion of Satan.  I must infer then, that by “sound doctrine” what they actually mean is, “what our denomination teaches.”

What is doctrine?  The definition of the word is, “something taught, teachings, something taught as the principles or creed of a religion, political party, etc.; tenet or tenets; belief; dogma, a rule, theory, or principle of law.”  There is nothing in this definition that suggests a personal knowing and relationship is necessary.  Such is also what I find in those insisting everyone have sound doctrine: there is only a rare mention of knowing God for yourself.  I am not concerned with sound doctrine.  I am concerned with knowing the Father because knowing Him and knowing Jesus Christ is the very definition of eternal life.  “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John 17:3). 

I recently read a book called Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose.  When the author married her first husband, Rev. C. Russell Deibler, she and her husband both knew they were called to the Mission Field and, specifically, the Philippines.  Mrs. Deibler was several years younger than her husband and had just graduated from school.  She relates in her book that, before the Church would allow her to accompany her husband to the Philippines, they tested her in doctrine and theology.  She passed the tests and was allowed to go.  While in the Philippines, World War II broke out and Japan took over the islands.  Mrs. Deibler and her husband were interred in separate camps where her husband died.  Mrs. Deibler spent four years in various camps and I was struck by how it was not doctrine or theology that sustained her: it was the vitality of her relationship with Jesus Christ.  Mrs. Deibler-Rose writes, “Experientially, I was learning to understand the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  Sometime during the dark hours I slept.  The sword of sorrow had pierced deep within me, but He had bathed the sword in oil.”  

This book gave a graphic picture of the difference between having doctrine-which is by definition a lifeless thing-and having a vital relationship with the Living God.  To me, those quibbling over whether or not someone’s doctrine is sound are like the blind men quibbling over the elephant.  Not one of them was wrong per se but neither were any of them correct.  Not one of them had fully seen. 

There is a passage in Colossians I’ve been meditating on for some time: “Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body, nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God” (Colossians 2:18-19).  Our reward is Christ Jesus.  He is our very Life.  In Him, we are made one with the Father.  Everything the Father has belongs to Jesus.  Everything Jesus has is ours because His Spirit lives within us and declares it to us.  (See John 16:13-15)

I know this not only because the Bible tells me so but because I KNOW HIM!  He is real!  He is alive!  He is alive in me right now!  This is not something reserved for the future.  It is not something I earn if I follow Jesus’ example and live a moral life.  He freely gives Himself to me, teaches me who He is, and brings me into relationship with Himself.  There is no substitute for knowing Him and this knowing is my litmus test.  I don’t compare what I hear from others with any doctrine: the Spirit within me guides me into all truth.  Jesus Himself is that absolute living truth and, as He has joined me to Himself, I am one spirit with Him.

Let none of us allow ourselves to be cheated of our reward by anyone who has not seen.  Let us hold fast to the Head who is Christ Jesus.  Let us test everything and hold fast to what is true.  “Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection…” and, finally, let us “no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the trickery of men in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ…” (Hebrews 6:1, Ephesians 4:15)

Amen.

All Scriptures are quoted from The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

References

The poems of John Godfrey Saxe/The Blind Men and the Elephant – Wikisource, the free online library

Guralnik, David B., Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition, Williams Collins + World Publishing Co., Inc., Cleveland • New York, 1970, 1974

Rose, Darlene Deibler, Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II, A Ruth Graham Dienert Book, Harper San Francisco, Harper Collins Publishers, New York, New York, 1988

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