Tag Archives: Faith

Knowing His Rest

05 Monday Dec 2022

Posted by in Personal Essays, Writing

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Hello and welcome to a new post on Renaissance Woman!

This post is going up on the blog a bit later than usual as I travelled to San Antonio for the weekend to take part in a retreat.  The Bishop of my church was going to do some teaching and then we were all going to celebrate his 70 years in the ministry!  The theme of the weekend was “A Living Rest” and it was as I was on my way back home I saw the truth of that illustrated.

I have not travelled on my own in almost twenty years.  And, any travelling I have done has been as a passenger in a vehicle.  I have not flown anywhere in all that time.  It so happened my family could not travel with me to the retreat and, if I wanted to go, I was going to have to go on my own.  I did consider staying home but decided I couldn’t be a coward, I was a grown adult, and my brain injury was not going to keep me home.  It did not and, though I did experience struggles, everyone I asked for help was so incredibly nice and I got to where I needed to go with all my questions answered.

I had a marvelous time but was definitely ready to get home.  It was as I waited for my return flight that I sat in the airport watching the day grow darker and darker as the fog settled in.  I occasionally glanced at the board to see if the fog would be enough to cancel my flight but there was never a change in status.  Despite the thickening fog, my flight remained on time.

The day was still foggy and damp by the time I boarded my plane and took my window seat but the pilot and flight attendants made their announcements and the flight attendants made their final checks.  The pilots began taxiing away from the terminal.

I was enjoying watching it all through the window: the different colored lights, the way the pilots so easily maneuvered that massive plane away from the terminal and onto the runway.  A gray fog still hung over the other planes and various buildings and I could only continue to watch as the pilots fired up the engines and took off, apparently unperturbed by the fog. 

Then, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  My seat was directly over the wing and I could easily see one of the engines outside my window.  As the plane rose into the air, the engine was all I could see.  Anything else including the ground from which we were pulling away, was obliterated from sight by thick fog. 

I was certain the pilots couldn’t be relying on their own sight: they couldn’t be able to distinguish anything more than I could.  No doubt they had to be relying on their instruments which must be so sophisticated that they render human eyesight unnecessary.  The pilots must have implicit trust, not only in their training but in their instruments, that taking off into a blinding fog wasn’t worth a second thought.

As for me, I was in control of nothing.  Lift off or cancellation, none of it was my choice.  All I could do was sit in my seat and trust the pilots.  My trust was both in their abilities and in their trust in the capabilities of the aircraft.

That trust was not misplaced.  In only a few moments, the plane had ascended above the clouds themselves and there wasn’t a wisp of fog to be seen.  The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and I was on my way home.  As I looked out at the clouds spread out as far as my eye could see and lit by the sun, I saw illustrated what I had learned at the retreat.

A close translation of Galatians 2:20 is, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, the One loving me and giving Himself over on my behalf.” (See the Literal, King James, and Greek Interlinear)  I’ve mentioned it before but it fascinates me that the Greek tou, which is not 3588 in the Strong’s Concordance but 5120, appears three times in this passage and is translated “in”, “of”, and “the (One)”. 

It may seem like splitting hairs but I find there is a massive difference between living my life by faith in the Son of God and living by faith of the Son of God.  Within the context of my illustration, I could have freaked out, gripped the armrests of my seat, and said over and over, “I have faith in the pilots, I have faith in the plane, I have faith that weird noise I heard doesn’t mean the engine is about to fly off this wing.”  Or, I could do as I did and rest in my seat, marveling that the fog was no deterrent to their taking off and knowing that as long as the pilots and flight attendants remained calm, there was no reason for me not to do so.  I suppose I could say my faith was “in” them but it wasn’t, not really.  My faith was their faith and I could enjoy the takeoff in perfect rest because the pilots and flight attendants knew what I did not and the pilots could see what I could not.

One of my Bible Teachers shares a similar illustration.  He was on a flight that began to experience turbulence and was getting nervous but then saw the flight attendant in her seat scrolling through her phone, unfazed by being bounced around.  I see exactly what he is saying as we encountered turbulence coming into Denver.  I looked around to see the cabin shifting back and forth and could feel the plane bump and jerk.  I looked out to see the wing raising and lowering and realized the pilots weren’t fighting the turbulence but were-quite literally-rolling with it.  One of the flight attendants then announced that while we were experiencing some turbulence, it was quite normal to do so coming into Denver.  Again, I could rest in their experience and knowledge.

Jesus Himself is my living rest.  Jesus is my forerunner (Hebrews 6:20).  He is the One who is far above all principality and power and might and dominion and every name that is named (Ephesians 1:21).  He declares the end from the beginning and from ancient times things that are not yet done (Isaiah 46:10).  My faith is His faith made a reality in me through the indwelling of His Spirit.  There are so many times I am following the leading of the Spirit and yet fog settles into the situation and I cannot see the outcome.  Lift off or cancellation?  The result is entirely out of my control.  Yet I rest.  I rest in Jesus Christ who has overcome the world.  I rest in the certainty that He sees what I cannot.

Just one more observation before I close: once the plane was above the clouds, it appeared as if we were hovering.  I knew that wasn’t possible and that the plane was travelling at hundreds maybe thousands of miles per hour. (I have since Googled it and found the average airspeed of a 747 is 550mph).  And so, even though I looked as though we weren’t moving at all, I knew that wasn’t the truth.

I have these times in my Christian life as well.  My vision is not obscured: the sun is shining and the sky is blue.  And yet I looks to me as if I am not making any progress at all.  Here too, my faith is the faith of Jesus Christ.  Because He is in me and I am in Him, I share His Oneness with the Father who has created me in Christ Jesus for good works which He prepared beforehand so that I would walk in them (See Ephesians 2:10).  Not only that, but I know His word is true and that He who has begun a good work in me will continue to perfect and complete it until the Day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).  It doesn’t matter how it may appear to me for I am in the current of the Holy Spirit and we are ever pressing on towards the goal.

Jesus Christ is the perfect gift given by the Father for the world.  I in Him and Him in me I find not only my very life but a perfect living rest.

Praise His name!  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!

Amen.

References

Galatians 2:20 Interlinear: with Christ I have been crucified, and live no more do I, and Christ doth live in me; and that which I now live in the flesh — in the faith I live of the Son of God, who did love me and did give himself for me; (biblehub.com)

Green, Jay P., The Interlinear Bible: Hebrew Greek English, Volume 4, Authors for Christ, Inc., Lafayette, Indiana, 1985

Marshall, Reverend A., The Interlinear Greek-English New Testament, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1958,1970

Strong, James, LL.D., S.T.D., The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1990

In the Midst

23 Monday May 2022

Posted by in Isaiah 45:7, Personal Essays, Studies, Walking in the Way, Writing

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My Dad called them “God’s Calling Cards.”  He meant those instances in our lives that are attributed to coincidence but, when seen through the lens of us living and moving and having our being in Jesus Christ; are recognized as God’s Calling Cards.

I have had these little coincidences on my mind over the last few weeks and was discussing them with a co-worker when I remembered my Dad’s term for them.  I’ve continued to meditate on them and have been looking at them in terms of my study on darkness.

But first, some context for these Calling Cards.  I am now recovering from surgery-less than four years after my last one-to remove yet another tumor.  The particular path I’m on started in 2017 when my Primary Care Physician found a lump in my breast.  No doubt a cyst fueled by hormones but it still needed to be looked at.  I started praying immediately.  I know Jesus bore all my sicknesses and iniquities so of course I was healed.  Except I wasn’t.  I was referred to a specialist who ran tests and said the lump didn’t look right which led to another referral and a biopsy.  I then had to wait for the results of that biopsy and I spent days wondering “what if?”  Would it be benign or did I have the C-word?  I wrote about this in my post Just a Butterfly and I will include a link at the bottom of this post in case anyone is interested in reading it.

I didn’t have to have this lump surgically removed but it did seem to be a catalyst for a cascade of tests and procedures culminating in the major surgery in December of 2018.  I had fought for years to avoid it.  I’d tried diet, exercise, prayer…nothing worked.  Once more my concerned PCP referred me to a specialist who was also a surgeon and who ended up removing thirteen fibroids from my abdomen.  It was both a devastating surgery and yet a blessing because I was freed from quite a bit of pain.  I began walking the road to recovery whilst also striving to understand, where was God in all of this?  Where was my healing?  If I’m to expect results when I pray, what results should I be expecting? 

I was sure that surgery in 2018 would be my last.  Then only a year later another growth appeared in a different part of my body.  It also ended up being benign and the procedure to remove it was relatively minor.  Just a snip and a couple days recovery but it did concern me.  This growth could not be attributed to hormone imbalance or endometriosis.  Was my body randomly growing tumors?  What if one grew in my brain?  Was there anything I could do to stop them?

And then, I began experiencing weird pain in my abdomen.  Once more, my concerned PCP sent me for a test then referred me to a specialist who took another test and then went “hmm…that doesn’t look right” and referred me to an Oncologist.  Once more, I’ve had surgery to remove a rather large tumor-or endometrial lesion-and once more I am grateful the growth is benign.  I am again walking the road to recovery but I will say this time it is different.  I do not wonder where God is in all of this: I have seen Him in a series of coincidences.

I intended to discuss my weird pain with my Doctor at an appointment in January of this year but then I contracted the ‘rona and had to postpone.  The earliest I could get was June.  No big deal.  I was sure it was nothing serious.  Then my Doctor’s office called and confirmed my appointment in March.  I didn’t have an appointment in March.  There had to be a cancellation and I had to be penciled in but no one called me to ask if I was available: they called to confirm. The appointment was scheduled for the next day and I had no conflict so I went.  I ended up having a CT scan that afternoon which put me on the referral and tests path I’ve already mentioned.  I met with the Oncologist on a Friday and was scheduled for surgery the following Monday.  I write this two weeks into my recovery and I can’t help but think of all the things that just happened to fall into place so that I am on the road to recovery a full month before that June appointment. 

There has not been a moment when I have not known God with me.  I don’t do well with surgery.  Anesthesia is not my friend and recovery is difficult for me.  Recovery from this last surgery was especially difficult and I ended up having to spend an extra day in the hospital.  This was hard news to take and I had a moment where I thought I might tear out my IV and run screaming.  Or shuffle screaming, as the incision made running impossible.  I clung to God in that moment and knew He was with me.  I was not only aware of His presence but felt His touch in the hands of my care-givers.  I don’t know anything personal about anyone who nursed me: I do know that each person who cared for me showed me kindness, gentleness, and the true meaning of ministry which is to serve. 

What do I expect from God?  He has not come crashing into any of these situations, snapped His fingers, and made any of these growths disappear.  He has not delivered me unless you count sixteen separate growths-not counting moles removed-and not one of them being cancerous as deliverance.  He has not spared me trials on top of the pain and issues I deal with from the car accident.  What He has done is knit Himself to me in the midst of these situations and made me so aware of His presence that I’ve gone through them without fear.  I have not been a paragon of faith:  I may have begged a bit when it became clear I wasn’t going to get to go home but even then, He was with me.  He was faithful every moment.

Faithful every moment.  That is what I see in this study of darkness.  The Hebrew letters spelling darkness-Chet, Shin, and Caph-reveal to me a picture of the God who is Love with me every moment.  Even when it feels the circumstances of my life are chewing me up and spitting me out (Shin), there is nothing I go through alone.  He is not hidden from me nor I from Him but He holds me in the palm of His hand (Caph).  I am not only held but His Spirit is poured out on me and in me and His life is knit to mine (Chet).  I’ve started looking deeper into the word bara which is translated “create” and one of my Teachers told me bara meant “to fill”.  I am looking deeper into that but find that definition beautiful.  He fills my darkness with Himself.

My study of darkness brought me to Psalm 18 and verse 11 in particular. My NKJV begins this verse as, “He made darkness His secret place.”  The New Living says “He shrouded Himself in darkness” and the English Standard Version has, “He made darkness His covering”.  I wondered about this verse because, at first glance, it did seem to be saying that God hides Himself in darkness which didn’t make much sense.  Once I’d looked a little further into the meaning of darkness, looked into the context of the Psalm, and discussed it with two of my Teachers, this passage became so wonderfully clear.  My Bible places this Psalm within the time period of King David’s fleeing from King Saul.  Reading through the Psalm, I can see David was not having a pleasant time: the pangs of death and sorrows of Sheol surround him.  His enemies are too strong for him, he is hated, and he refers to “his day of calamity”.  He is in darkness.

But!  The Lord God comes with darkness under His feet!  He made the darkness His secret place, He fills it, and His brilliance destroys it from within.  The Lord lights the lamp and enlightens the darkness.  I am reminded of what I shared two weeks ago that the eye is referred to as a lamp in the NT.  It is as the eyes of our understanding are enlightened and made single by the Holy Spirit-and the Greek carries the idea of being braided with-that He enlightens our darkness.  This Psalm in particular stayed with me because, throughout this entire process, I could see the truth written in this beautiful Psalm: God armed me with strength, He set me in a broad path, and He upheld me.  Even when I didn’t fully understand why things were happening the way they were, He filled every moment with Himself.

I have “what if” thoughts: I can’t help that.  All I can do is answer every “what if” with the truth “God is with me.”  I mentioned having to stay an extra night in the hospital.  I’d been told my stay would be one night only so, when I couldn’t stop being ill and had to stay that extra night, I panicked a little.  I am a disabled person with no disability benefits (which is a long story in itself) and I only work part time.  On top of dealing with the physical difficulties, I worried about the cost of that extra night, what my insurance would do, and what bills might be coming my way, etc.  A couple of days after being released, I received a letter from my insurance.  The surgeon had submitted me for two days stay and my insurance had approved it.  It’s such a small thing but it’s another one of those little coincidences.  Here I was panicking and feeling like a failure.  If willpower was any sort of power at all, I’d have been able to get better and would never have stayed that extra night.  All I could do was trust that He was bigger than even this and then the letter arrived showing me it had all been taken care of before the surgery began. 

Truly, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself goes before me and is with me.  He never leaves me nor forsakes me.  There is never a circumstance that discourages me or fills me with fear (See Deuteronomy 31: 8, Isaiah 45:2).  He fills not only the darkness but all things (Ephesians 4:10).  In Him I live and move and have my being and, because He lives and lives in me; I can face tomorrow and whatever else might come. 

Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  Amen.

Just a Butterfly

Unless noted otherwise, all scriptures are quoted from The New King James Version of The Holy Bible, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

References

Bentorah, Chaim, Hebrew Word Study: Beyond the Lexicon, Trafford Publishing, 2014, Pages 92, 108, 148

Haralick, Robert M., The Inner Meaning of the Hebrew Letters, Jason Aronson Inc., Northvale, New Jersey, 1995, Pages 113, 161, 293

choshek, “darkness,” strong’s H2822 (alittleperspective.com)

(2) “Darkness” in ancient Hebrew! (Part I) – YouTube

God’s Appointed Times: Aleph Tav Meaning (godsappointedtimes.com)

Remembrance

27 Saturday Nov 2021

Posted by in Poetry

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Remembrance

I spoke-at once the words were gone
I formed and said them without thought
I wished that they could be withdrawn
I had not behaved as I ought
My words had not been trustworthy
I looked at myself in disgust
O Holy One who maketh me
Please remember I am dust
Can something still be called a lie
If it is one merely implied?
My feelings say it can and I
Desperately want to run and hide
From the sight of The One who saw it all
And how much I've come up short
O Holy One-don't let me fall
Remind me You are my support
I anticipate some punishment
Or some penance I must do
So I come with my head bent
And find nothing there but You
Your arms are tight about me
You strengthen me to start anew
O Holy One how can it be
I am so loved by You?
Most High Lord of all creation
You give Your blessings day by day
There is no guilt or condemnation
You wash all my sins away
With You I can face all I must
Because Your Spirit lives in me
O Holy One faithful and just
In You I now live righteously!

Fruit of the Spirit-Faithfulness

17 Monday May 2021

Posted by in Fruit of the Spirit, Studies

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“The fruit of the Spirit is…faithfulness” Galatians 5:22

I was certain I knew how this week’s study would go.  I know what “faithfulness” means.  Indeed, when I went to my dictionary, I anticipated no surprises. Nor did I find any, except that “faithfulness” didn’t appear in my dictionary on its own but at the end of the entry for “faithful”.  No matter.  There were no surprises in the definition of “faithful”: keeping faith, maintaining allegiance to someone or something; constant; loyal.  That is God, I said to myself, and knew what scriptures I would use to declare His faithfulness.

Well, He is faithful and faithfulness but that isn’t the word used for this particular aspect of the fruit of the Spirit in the original Greek.  The Greek word here is pistis (G4102) and it means faith.  If faithful, or even faithfulness was meant, the Greek word pistos (G4103) would have been used.  I had to double check with The Interlinear Greek-English New Testament and the fruit of the Spirit is pistis-faith.  What’s the big deal?  Am I getting nitpicky?  I don’t think so because I am aware of controversy surrounding the meaning of faith.

I looked up “faith” in two separate dictionaries and found the same definition.  The definition in The New World Dictionary of the American Language does start out with the word’s origins which include fides (Latin) meaning confidence, belief.  No controversy here.  But then, the first definition is “unquestioning belief that does not require proof”.  The World Book Dictionary puts the word origins at the end of the entry and starts with “a believing without proof”.  I have to read down to definition #5 in The New World Dictionary before I find a semblance of what is meant by “faith” in the Bible: complete trust, confidence, or reliance.  The World Book Dictionary does eventually give me “confidence, reliance” as well.  Confidence, trust, and reliance is not possible without proof. 

I am going to set pistis and its meaning aside for the moment and ask myself the question, does the Bible require me to have blind faith-faith based on no evidence whatsoever?  I cannot see that it does.  Quite the opposite.  In his first epistle to the Thessalonians, Paul tells them to “test all things: hold fast what is good” (1 Thes. 5:21).  In his second letter to Timothy, Paul says, “Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing–rightly handling and skillfully teaching–the Word of Truth” (2 Tim. 2:15, Amplified).  I’ve already written posts on 1 John 4 but this is an excellent chapter on the necessity of testing as is Romans 12:2.  The expectation of the New Testament writers was that believers would be active in their beliefs, investigators, and would not blindly follow after anyone. 

Neither do I find an inference of blind following in the original Greek.  The definition of pistis is: persuasion, credence, conviction, assurance, belief, faith, fidelity.  I do agree a person can have all of these things without proof or evidence but the root of pistis is peitho (G3982) and contains the meaning “to assent (to evidence or authority).” No blind following is inferred here.

There are voices today who insist there is no evidence for even the existence of God and that, because that is so, my faith is not only blind I hold to it in the face of evidence proving the opposite.  That is not true.  My faith is based on evidence.  Greater minds than mine have done this work: minds like Dr. John Lennox, Dr. Stephen C. Meyer, and Dr. David Berlinski for the science-minded among you.  There are so many other men and women, brilliant minds, who believe in God and did not have to set aside their intellects to do so.  I encourage anyone and everyone to test, investigate, study, and decide for yourself.  Do not blindly follow anyone.

While I am grateful for the scientists, philosophers, and theologians I have read over the years who have shown me I am not irrational for believing in God, I have the very best proof of my faith in another source.  That is, of course, God Himself.  The word pistis is relational.  The Dictionary of New Testament Theology tells me the following about “faith”:

“The words dealt with here are basically concerned with that personal relationship with a person or thing which is established by trust and trustworthiness (including their negation).  If this relationship comes about through persuasion or conviction, the vb. peithomai is used.  The perf. tense pepoitha expresses the firm conviction and confidence that has come about.  The words of the pistis group are derived from the same verbal stem.  They denoted originally the faithful relationship of partners in an agreement and the trustworthiness of their promises.  In a broader sense, they came to denote the credibility of statements, reports, and accounts in general, both sacred and secular.  In NT Gk., they gained a special importance and specific trusting acceptance and recognition of what God has done and promised in him” (Page 588).

I have come across many instances where study has led to a belief in God but leaves Him remote.  He’s an “intelligence”, “a mind”, but uninvolved and uninterested in His creation.  I think Andrew Murray says it best: “Nature speaks of God and His work; but of Himself, His heart, and His thoughts of love toward us sinners, nature cannot tell” (Holiest of All, Page 43).  There comes a point where evidence of the existence of God is not enough.  Without a revelation of Himself; His personhood, His intentions, and His nature, faith becomes belief without proof.  At the very least, it is not the faith that is the fruit of the Spirit.  This faith is a living, breathing, person centered in Jesus Christ. 

In Galatians 2:20, Paul says; “I have been crucified with Christ: it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”  There is a mistranslation in this passage and it’s “I live by faith IN the Son of God”.  The true translation is “l live by faith OF the Son of God.”  It’s a subtle difference and yet it’s all the difference in the world.  The Greek word for in, en, is not the word here.  It’s tau (G5120) and it appears twice in the sentence:  OF (tau) the Son OF (tau) God.  It means “of this person, his.” 

This faith that is the fruit of the Spirit, His Spirit, has nothing to do with us.  It’s very good to have evidence for our beliefs but we do not live this Christian life because we have built up our own faith in Jesus.  We live it through His faith, His relationship to the Father, which is also our relationship to the Father through His Spirit living in us.  The proof is in the person, in this case.

Isn’t it wonderful?  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  Amen!

And Amen.

Unless notes otherwise, scriptures are quoted from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible, Thomas Nelson, Inc. 1982

References:

The Comparative Study Bible, The Zondervan Corporation, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1984

The Interlinear Greek-English New Testament, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1958

Barnhart, Clarence L., The World Book Dictionary, Volume One, Field Enterprises Educational Corporation, Chicago, Illinois, 1970

Brown, Colin, The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology, Volume I, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1967

Guralnik, David B., The New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition, William Collins + World Publishing Company, Cleveland • New York, 1976

Murray, Andrew, Holiest of All: A Commentary on the Book of Hebrews, Whitaker House, New Kensington, Pennsylvania, 1996

Strong, James, LLD., S.T.D., The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1990