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Tag Archives: Healing

Take the Next Step

27 Monday May 2024

Posted by Kate in Personal Essays, Writing

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Healing, Health, Holy Spirit, Indwelling Spirit, Jesus Christ, Manifestation, Trust, Trusting God, Truth, Waiting

In the sixth chapter of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul describes the Whole Armor of God.  In verse 14, we read; “Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth…”  The truth with which we gird our waists is Jesus Christ Himself and I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking about how the truth He is manifests in our lives.

I had a minor surgical procedure last week.  It was minor but did still require a few days recovery so I had no opportunity to complete the study I had planned.  I thought about skipping this week’s post but I have been pondering truth over the last several days so thought I would share some of my conclusions. 

I have been thinking of the truth that is Jesus Christ in terms of healing.  If there is one subject I wish I understood, it is the healing that is supposedly ours in Christ Jesus.  I say “supposedly” because I look for my healing to be manifested in my body to no avail.  I am now going through my third round of tests and it is looking like another surgery is in my near future.  I would love for all of my health problems to miraculously go away and would especially love to never have surgery again.  But, that doesn’t appear to be how the Holy Spirit is at work in my body.

There is a passage in Isaiah 53:5 which I have heard often quoted as proof that our healing is found in Jesus: “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement of our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.”  This passage does seem to be straight forward: by His stripes we are healed.  What is the answer then, if we are not healed?  Even as I sit and write this, I am in so much pain it takes my breath away.  What is the truth of Jesus Christ in the midst of my circumstances right now?  What is the truth about healing when everything I feel at this moment tells me I am not at all healed?

I have to say, I don’t have an answer. 

There is so much I don’t understand.  My family and I subscribe to the Guideposts and I have read a couple of different stories by the same woman.  This woman lived the majority of her life with painful growths on her face.  She endured pain and shame and multiple procedures only to have the growths come back until the day came she experienced a miraculous healing.  You’d think that would be the end of it but the latest story this woman shared was about experiencing an entirely new health problem that had her shuttling from one waiting room to another as various doctors conducted tests.  She doesn’t understand why she was healed then and not now but her eyes were opened to see her fellow human beings sitting with her in the waiting room.  She began to wonder about them and their suffering and asked for ways to touch their lives which is a prayer God answered.

I have only had one experience of miraculous healing.  My right arm was damaged in my car accident and so my left arm has had to compensate a great deal over the years.  A few years ago, I had burning pain in the muscles of my left side.  The pain reached from my collarbone all the way to my hip and any movement of my left arm caused considerable agony.  With both arms out of commission, I was looking at a severe diminishment of what mobility I had left.  During this time, I felt it was important to be part of an online prayer group.  I wasn’t sure why but I chose to be obedient to what I believed the Holy Spirit was telling me.  I had attended for days wondering what in the world I was doing when, one afternoon, the host of the prayer group stopped his prayer and began praying for healing.  He prayed for another person who shared my name and then prayed for healing for all disabled people.  At that moment, the pain melted out of my collarbone and shoulder, down my left side, and out of my body.  It has never returned.

I did not experience any healing in my right arm.  None of the other injuries resulting from my car accident were healed at that same time.  Later that year, I had my second surgery and I am now looking at a third.  Why?  Why heal the pain in my left arm and not anything else?  Why heal that woman’s growths and yet not heal whatever health situation she is now experiencing?  I don’t know.

I do know the Greek word aletheia which is translated as “truth” means truth, sometimes faithfulness.  Aletheia is related to alethes which means true, sincere, real, correct, faithful, trustworthy, genuine, and veracious.  I know all of these words are an accurate description of Jesus Christ who does not ever leave us or forsake us.  I know He is with us, inside of our circumstances, experiencing them with us, no matter what our circumstances might be.

His presence is with me through all of this in a tangible way.  As I said, there is so much I don’t understand-especially about healing-but I have experienced Jesus Christ as my very life enough to know that He is with me no matter what I have to go through.  I trust His revelation to Isaiah is still true today and pertains to me: by His stripes I am healed. I trust Him enough that I don’t have any expectations as to what healing looks like.  I know what I would prefer but, if it comes to another surgery, I know I won’t go through it alone.

I don’t have an answer on how to receive your healing from God.  I wish I did.  What I do have is an unshakable conviction that Jesus Christ dwells in each one of us going through our circumstances with us and has made a way through them for each of us.  With this in mind, I’ll close with a story from last week’s procedure.

I mentioned the story from the Guideposts and how the woman began to seek for ways to reach those sharing the waiting room with her.  I had that in mind as I entered a waiting room of my own.  There was an exchange of smiles but no opening for starting a conversation with anyone.  I wasn’t in the waiting room long before an administrator called me aside and said my surgeon had been called away on an emergency.  They could either reschedule my procedure or I could wait two hours on the chance the surgeon would be able to return.

Now, anyone who has undergone surgery knows the truly unpleasant preparation required the day before.  I had made it through hours of unpleasant prep.  I had been hours with no food or drink.  The last thing I wanted to do was reschedule and have to undergo all of it again.  Plus, there was a timing issue.  I needed to get this surgery out of the way because I already had Doctor’s appointments scheduled for an entirely different health problem I was certain would result in another surgery and I wanted to put as much time between undergoing anesthetic as possible.  I elected to wait.

I wasn’t kept in the waiting room long.  The nurses came to get me and brought me to a curtained off section of room where I got to change into the oh-so-comfortable gown and hair net.  They prepped me as much as they could but I did have a two and a half hour wait before they knew for certain my procedure was going to go forward.  I was uncomfortable.  It was not easy to find a position on the narrow bed where I was not in pain. I also knew I had a choice.

I could hear the nurses making calls to all of the patients scheduled after me.  I could hear them apologizing for a situation that was entirely out of everyone’s control.  I could hear how stressed out they were as they asked each other if anyone had heard from the surgeon and knew what was going to happen.  I was a bit stressed myself.  My family had their own appointments they needed to keep that day and I couldn’t know whether my decision to wait was the correct one.  ‘What if” questions kept turning over in my mind and I didn’t have answers.  I did know I wasn’t alone and I chose to trust whatever was happening affected us both and would be turned to my benefit.  I did not have to add to the nurses’ stress with questions or complaints of my own.  I relaxed as much as I could under the warm blankets the nurses gave me and trusted God loved me and would take care of me.

He did.  I came through the procedure with no problems.  I had no nausea from the anesthetic which I have to say is a miracle.  The delay meant the timing of the day was perfect.  My family received the call that I was finished just as they were wrapping up their own appointments so they didn’t have to be stressed out either.

I would of course prefer all my of my health problems would just go away.  And yet, I have another experience of the God who is love carrying me through a difficult circumstance.  I have another Doctor’s appointment tomorrow and I face it without fear because I know that, whatever happens, God loves me and will take care of me.

That is the truth I know.  Maybe you are in a situation where you need a miracle-whether healing or something else-but you aren’t seeing it.  I don’t have an answer for you.  I wish I did.  What I do know is our God is closer to us than our very breath.  He dwells inside of us and there isn’t anything that happens to us that doesn’t also happen to Him.  He is on the inside of our circumstance and is not idle: He is working all things for our good.  Perhaps it will be the miracle we long for.  Perhaps it will be His presence during a recovery.  Whatever it is we face, He is faithful.  Let us trust Him and take the next step.

Unless noted otherwise, all Scriptures are quoted from The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

References

Brown, Colin, The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology, Volume 3, Regency Reference Library, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1967, 1971, Page 874

Strong, James, LL.D., S.T.D., The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1990

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Great Expectations-Part One

05 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by Kate in Walking in the Way

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Blog, Blog Post, Blogging, Christian Blog, Christian Life, Healing, Living with Disability, Living with TBI, Prayer, Promises of God

Yesterday was the anniversary of the car accident that left me differently-abled.  I am grateful to be walking and that, once my hair grew back in, I was not left with visible scars but I do live with limitations; both physical and cognitive.  Which brings me to what I want to discuss in this series of posts:  I say I have a relationship with Jesus…why then am I not healed?

2 Corinthians 1: 20 says, “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.  And so through Him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God”.  There are many promises of healing I could quote from both the Old and New Testaments but, for the sake of brevity, I’m going to focus on Exodus 15: 26 which states, “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in His eyes, if you pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord who heals you.”  If He is the Lord who heals me and this promise is “yes” in Jesus, then I should be able to expect healing, right?

And, it does seem Exodus lays out the rules for receiving healing.  IF I pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees, THEN He will heal me.  I have attempted to pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees.  I attended churches (not forsaking the assembling like Hebrews 10:25 says!) and attempted to do what they told me to do.  I read my bible, attended multiple services per week, and devoted time to prayer.  Then, I would miss a day of reading or a prayer time. Since I could not do these simple things on a regular basis, how could I expect God to heal me? 

I sought healing through biblical methods.  I had hands laid on me, was anointed with oil, stood in healing lines, and was prayed over.  One traveling evangelist insisted that if he laid hands on me I WOULD be healed so I imagine my disappointment when he did so and I was not.  Of course then the fault was mine because “a double-minded person is unstable in all they do” and “such a person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord” (James 1: 8 and 7) so my still being in pain caused me to doubt which meant I didn’t really trust God and didn’t have any faith so He could not heal me. I had these things said to me.

Then I realized that, if I was following the rule laid down in Exodus, all I had to do was pay attention to His commands and keep His decrees.  What simplicity!  Jesus only left me with one: “Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”  (John 13:34)  Well, has anyone else tried this?  Have you found it as difficult a command to keep as I have?  Failure after failure after failure.  No wonder I didn’t have my healing!  How could God heal someone who so consistently fell short of His standards of behavior?!

Have any of you been subjected to this?  If you have, know I empathize with you.  I have been trapped in this never-ending cycle of just not being good enough to please God and finally receive of His promises.  I was already tired from the effects of the car accident and all this striving only made me more so.  Then, I had a life crisis so devastating I was certain I could not and never had heard from God.  I had failed Him so completely I should just curl up and die so He could send me to hell and get it over with.  It was in this place that I met God!  The living God.  The gentle, loving Father who so desired a relationship with me, He sent Jesus into my darkness and death to get me and bring me out.  (John 3:16 and especially 17!, John 17: 3, Ephesians 2: 4-7)

My feet were set on a new path and I began to get to know The Father.  I do not say the path has been easy.  In fact, it felt like the moment my Father began to show me who He was, the floodgates of hell were opened in my life.  Even though…through every devastating circumstance, my Father has revealed a little more of Himself to me and I have been filled with awe and wonder.

But still I struggled with limitations from the car accident and, as the years went by, I developed other health problems.  I prayed about them, tried to “Amen” all the promises of God, and received no miraculous healing.  I ended up having a major surgery and afterwards had the opportunity to speak with a close friend.  I told her how I had prayed leading up the surgery-that I would be spared having to go through it-and how the answer I had received had been “no”.  I told my friend that, while I could accept the no, I had expected things to be different.  It had been years since I’d come to know The Father in a new way and I’d expected I would level up somehow: like in a spiritual video game. 

We both laughed at that but, after hanging up with her, I continued to think about it.  That had been my expectation: that with greater understanding came greater blessings.  Wasn’t that the rule?  Within a few months of this conversation, I had to have another minor procedure.  I threw up my spiritual hands.  Whatever the secret was, I clearly had not discovered it.

Again, while a painful place to be, it is not a bad place to be.  It has been my experience over the last seventeen years that these valleys of deepest darkness are where my Father’s light shines brightest.  And so it proved.

To be continued…

Bible verses are quoted from the New International Version

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