Tag Archives: Kingdom Life

A Life Beyond Compare

18 Monday Oct 2021

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This life lived abiding in Jesus Christ is beyond compare.  The fact that I live in fellowship with The Father, in Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit leaves me speechless.  The fact that this life is possible because the Father wills it so makes me rejoice in humility.  And yet, this life can be frustrating.  There are so many things I don’t understand and answers to my questions do not come all at once.  I often quote Philippians 1:6 to myself: “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”  I am confident that the will and purpose of God will be worked out in me but I am not always patient with the process. 

I’ve had some difficult times over the past several months.  I couldn’t put into words how I felt.  I was angry certainly but at the same time broken-hearted.  I also felt isolated.  There were communities I longed to be part of but, as I listened to what they were saying, I knew I could not.  It wasn’t until today when I came across Jeremiah 15:17 that I understood what I was feeling.  This passage states, “I sat not in the assembly of those who make merry, nor did I rejoice; I sat alone because Your [powerful] hand was upon me, for You have filled me with indignation” (Amplified). 

Indignation.  I thought this was a good word to sum up what I was feeling but I looked it up in the dictionary to be sure.  My Webster’s New World Dictionary gives this definition of indignation: “scorn resulting from injustice, ingratitude, or meanness; righteous anger.”  Yes, this is exactly what I have felt.  And, I have sat alone.  Doors have closed all about me and I didn’t understand why.  And then, this week, I had an experience where the same thing kept cropping up.  It was mentioned to me, then it popped up in a newsletter, then someone else mentioned it, then I was sent an email…: six times over the past week this thing was mentioned and, each time, I grew more and more indignant.  Not one of those sources shared my indignation.  I went to God and asked Him if I was overreacting.

I am not.  I remembered the word translated “church” in the New Testament is ekklesia (G1577).  It means “a calling out”.  I was also remembering two portions of scripture and kept repeating them to myself.  One was “Come out from them and be separate,” and the other was “touch not the unclean thing.”  I did not remember these were parts of the same passage:  2 Corinthians 6:17.  For a bit of the context, I’ll start in verse 14: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.  For what fellowship had righteousness with lawlessness?  And what communion has light with darkness?  And what accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?  And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?  For you are the temple of the living God.  As God has said: “I will dwell in them and walk among them.  I will be their God.  And they shall be My people.” Therefore, “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.  Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.  I will be a Father to you and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty” (verses 14-18).

I have often heard this passage quoted to mean “unequally yoked” is a warning against marrying someone who doesn’t share the same faith.  I see it more as a warning for everyday life.  It is practically impossible to reach a goal if I’m trying to get there with someone determined to head in the opposite direction.  No, I take Jesus’ yoke and heed His calling to come out and be separate.  I do not mean I go live in a cave like a hermit (though there are times I wish I could!): I am separate while remaining in the world.  (See 1 Corinthians 5:9-10).  Jesus Himself prays “I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.  I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.  They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world” (John 17:14-16).

I look at these scriptures and understand what they are saying but how then do I live?  What does it mean to be separate while still in the world?  For me in this moment, it means holding onto my identity in Jesus in the midst of great pressure.  What is that identity?  I am everything the New Testament tells me I am In Christ.  I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, a living stone in the spiritual house of God, a member of the chosen generation, the royal priesthood, a holy nation, one of God’s special people, made to proclaim the praises of Him who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.  (1 Corinthians 6:19, 1 Peter 2:5, 1 Peter 2:9).

I hold on to my identity but remember who everyone else is as well.  I define my actions toward them by the words of God Himself who declares, “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh.  Is there anything too hard for Me?” (Jeremiah 32:43).  I obey the words of the Apostle Paul who says, “Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence.  For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:1-4).

I seek to diffuse His fragrance wherever I go and, knowing my flesh still wars against the Spirit, I pray: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.  Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice wicked works with men who work iniquity; and do not let me eat of their delicacies” (Psalm 141:3-4).  I trust that my steps are ordered by the Lord, He delights in my way, and though I stumble I won’t fall because He upholds me with His hand (Psalms 37:24). 

And when I must sit alone because His hand is upon me and He has filled me with indignation I accept the loneliness knowing I am not ever alone because He is with me.  I accept and listen to His voice always ever seeking to follow the Lamb withersoever He goest and heed His call to “come out and be separate”.    

“Behold, now is the accepted time; behold now is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:2b).

Unless noted otherwise, all scriptures are quoted from:

The New King James Version of The Holy Bible, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

References

Guralnik, David B., Webster’s New World Dictionary of The American Language, William Collins+World Publishing Company, Cleveland-New York, 1974

Strong, James, The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1990

Led as a Captive-Part Two

20 Monday Sep 2021

Posted by in History, Walking in the Way

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Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

Hello Readers!  Welcome back to Renaissance Woman as, this week, I continue taking a look at Paul’s exuberant cry; “But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere” (2 Corinthians 2:14, NIV).  In last week’s post, I considered what Paul might be picturing here, assuming he had in mind a Roman Triumph.  This week, I want to consider why he was so joyful at the thought of being led a captive in Christ’s Triumphal Procession.

Before I get to that, there are a few more aspects of the Roman Triumph I have to bear in mind.  One is, after Rome ceased to be a Republic and became an Empire ruled over by Emperors, the Triumphs were reserved for Emperors alone.  I also bear in mind that the Emperors were called by the full title “Saviour of the World”.  The problems this caused for Christians within the Roman world is a fascinating subject but one I’ll have to leave for another time.  I mention it because it is Jesus Christ who alone deserves to bear the title “Saviour of the World” and it is He who is honored in this procession. We then, are led captive in the procession of the One who is the True King of the Universe and Saviour of the World.   

There is one more aspect of Roman Triumphs I took a look at during this study and that is The Ovation.  The Ovation was a lesser form of Triumph during which the general being honored rode on horseback.  When I read that, I pictured The Horseman described in Revelation 19: “Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse.  And He who sat on Him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war…And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses” (Verses 11 & 14, NKJV).  Here too, there is a procession but there are none led as captives.  Here, the Followers of Jesus are depicted as a mighty army. 

Considering what Paul says about us being led as captives and then the picture of the army in Revelation, can both be true of us as believers?  I think so, especially when I consider the promises found in scripture.  Consider, for instance 2 Corinthians 3:18 which says, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord” (NKJV).  Consider also 2 Corinthians 5:21: “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (NKJV).  The words that hold my attention are “being transformed” and “become”.  There are so many other verses that speak of renewing, being made, being transformed: the conviction I am left with is one of process.  We do not become like Jesus overnight.  There is a process and, to use Paul’s words, it begins by being led captive by God.    

But what a strange captivity!  As I meditated on this, I was reminded of the young men led into captivity when Nebuchadnezzar sacked Jerusalem.  They were captives, certainly, but were brought to Babylon and trained in the literature, laws, and culture of Babylon. They were sent to university, in other words. It is here I see some similarities to our captivity in Christ as our Christian life is not one of servitude but one of being taught of the Lord by His Spirit.  Our captivity has one major difference from those young men in Babylon as our captivity is not forced on us but rather one we choose.  We are not drug through the streets in chains but drawn after Him with gentle cords and bands of love (Hosea 11:4, NKJV).  His goodness leads us to metanoia (I never get tired quoting that!), our eyes are opened to the reality of Jesus, and we surrender our lives to Him.  It is a captivity we continue to choose every time we pray “Thy Will Be Done.”  It is a captivity we choose every time we take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.

Here is also our warfare and it takes place on the battlefield of our mind.  However, just as our captivity is a strange captivity, so is our warfare.  It’s backwards because our General is already victorious.  He does not fight battles in order to become so.  He is the one who, through His death, resurrection, and ascension, utterly crushed the head of the serpent and destroyed the works of the devil (1 John 3:8).  Yet this victory must be worked out in us because there are strongholds, arguments, and high things that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God.  Foremost among these is that great lie that was spoken in the Garden of Eden: you shall be as God.  I did not realize when, in the awe and wonder of seeing who Jesus is I wanted nothing more than He should come and live in me, that war was being declared.  My Self was already crowned ruler of my life.  Self was my center and it believed it could be God apart from Him.  It resisted the rule of Jesus and battles ensued.

I think the best description of this warfare is in Romans 7: “For what I am doing, I do not understand.  For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.  If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good.  But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.  For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.  For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice….Oh wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  I thank God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Verses 15-19, 24-25a, NKJV)

Paul goes on to say in Chapter Eight that, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Verse 37, NKJV).  This is true in Jesus right now and this is how I conduct my warfare.  I do not engage in battle at all but declare the battle is won.  Jesus Christ is victor now and unto the Ages of Ages.  I take up my cross daily realizing that it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me and there is nothing I will face that is too much for Him.  I listen for His voice and choose to be obedient to it, no matter how difficult doing so might be.  I surrender myself and go where He bids me go and stay where and when He bids me stay. 

Thanks be to God who always leads us as captives in Christ’s Triumphal Procession!  It can be painful because, as the captives in those Roman Triumphs of old, we know we will be jeered at by the spectators.  But, we also know He is using us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him everywhere. We can go forward lifting our hearts in songs of praise knowing our lives are hid in His.  We rejoice that the enmity of our carnal minds is defeated because the Spirit of the Living God lives in us.  We think it not strange that fiery trials come upon us because we know that when His glory is revealed, we will also be glad with exceeding joy (1 Peter 4: 12-13).  Indeed, we already rejoice because we know that, while we do not yet know what we shall be, we know that when He is revealed we shall be like Him for we shall see Him as He is (1 John 3:2).  We shout for joy because, even as we are led captives, we are the Children of God!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!  Amen!

References:

NIV Journal The Word Bible, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1973/2016

The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson, Inc. Nashville, Tennessee, 1979/1982

Dando-Collins, Stephen, Legions of Rome: The Definitive History of Every Imperial Roman Legion, St. Martin’s Press, New York, New York, 2010, Pages 81-83

Guhl, E. & W. Koner, The Romans: Life and Customs, Konecky & Konecky, Old Saybrook, Connecticut, Pages 290-295

Matyszak, Philip, Legionary: The Roman Soldier’s Unofficial Manual, Thames and Hudson, London, UK, 2009, Page 183

“The Savior of the World” (John 4:42) on JSTOR   

Being of Two Minds

16 Monday Aug 2021

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I haven’t finished reading Hannah Whitall Smith’s The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life.  It’s not a book I can race through and be done.  There are sentences that arrest me and I have to think on them for a time before I am ready to continue on.  One such is a quote Hannah Whitall Smith included from another book.  She doesn’t give the name of the author nor the book she got it from but writes; “Years ago I came across this sentence in an old book: ‘Never indulge, at the close of an action, in any self-reflective acts of any kind, whether of self-congratulation or of self-despair.  Forget the things that are behind, the moment they are past, leaving them with God’.” 

She goes on to say; “This has been of unspeakable value to me.  When the temptation comes, as it mostly does to every worker after the performance of any service, to indulge in these reflections, either of one sort or the other, I turn from them at once and positively refuse to think about my work at all, leaving it with the Lord to overrule the mistakes, and to bless it as He chooses.”

This paragraph in particular struck me because I found I was indulging in reflections at the end of last week.  Hannah Whitall Smith says these reflections are of two sorts: “either the soul congratulates itself upon its success, and is lifted up; or it is distressed over its failure, and is utterly cast down.”  I tend toward the latter and such were my reflections.  I rehashed every word I’d said, pictured the faces of those I’d spoken to, and tried to decide how my words had been received, whether I’d said things I oughtn’t, and whether or not I’d been a worthy living epistle.  If such thoughts weren’t exhausting enough, I began to think about things other had said, sidelong glances I was sure I’d caught, became convinced I was being talked about behind my back, and was certain what was being said wasn’t positive.  Not that I’d heard anything myself, but I had a feeling…

Looking back, I am struck by how all this felt.  The more I dwelt on what were no doubt my own shortcomings and the little betrayals from so called friends, the smaller my world got.  I felt everything constricting around ME and my body reacted.  Muscles got taut, a band tightened around my head, and my mind was trapped on a hamster wheel of “what if they said this” and “you shouldn’t have said that” and ultimately, “why do you even bother at all?”

I thank God that there does come the “wait a minute” moment.  First, I had to take myself in hand regarding being talked about.  I did not know for certain that what I was thinking was even the truth.  My Mom tells a story of how she was once having similar thoughts and her mentor said to her that no one thought about her nearly as much as she thought about herself.  Harsh words, perhaps, but they stayed with Mom and I have found them of great use in my own dealings with other people.  Chances are I am not nearly as important to people as they are to themselves and the odds of them thinking about me enough to be talking about me are slim.  Even if my feeling was correct and I was being talked about, it isn’t any of my business.  Others do not decide my behavior: the leading of the Holy Spirit decides my behavior so, no matter what, I am to love others with the same love that is freely poured out into me, forgive as I am forgiven, and put everything in His hands. 

And so, this was not a pleasant evening for me but it was educational.  I was astonished at the difference in feeling when I am focused on myself as opposed to living in the flow of the Holy Spirit.  The first is, as I’ve shared, constrictive.  If I’d continued to wallow in it, my life would have become stagnant whereas life lived within the flow of the Spirit is expansive.  I noticed a change in my body the moment I turned my focus from myself and onto Jesus.  My posture improved, my chin lifted, and what was promising to be a raging headache disappeared.

Joyce Meyer has a book called The Battlefield of the Mind.  I haven’t read it but the title has always stuck with me.  I have been thinking of how a battle does take place in my mind.  Romans 8 is one of my favorite chapters in the New Testament.  I return to it over and over and always find something new there and ended up looking at last week’s experience in light of Romans 8.  I hardly know where to start quoting and where to finish because it all flows together so beautifully!  For the sake of space, I will quote verses 5-7: “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.  For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.”

Here is warfare indeed.  I have a carnal mind but I also have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).  I choose which mind I am going to have at any given time.  Will I set my mind on things of the flesh or will I set my mind on things above, not on things on the earth? Because I have been raised with Christ Himself, I will seek those things which are above where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God.  I will remind myself that I have died and my life is now hid with Christ in God.  (Colossians 3:1-3).  I will not worry about what others are thinking about me or what they may or may not be saying about me.  No, I will cast all my cares upon Him knowing that He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7) and not forgetting that He cares for them as well and desires that they too come to know the love of Christ.

I will choose to live a life of trust because, as Hannah Whitall Smith says, “having committed ourselves in our work to the Lord, we shall be satisfied to leave it to Him, and shall not think about ourselves in the matter at all.”  Lord hasten it!

Amen.

All scriptures are quoted from:

The New King James Version of The Holy Bible, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee, 1982

All other quotes are from The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith, New Spire Edition published 2012 by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan, “Service”, Chapter 15, Pages 183-194.

I Die Daily

19 Monday Jul 2021

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I have been thinking about surrender.  The surrender of our lives, our wills, to God.  It’s a subject I’ve heard Christians using a great deal lately and I used in last week’s post.  I wrote about it as something I did in the past and that’s how I’ve been hearing it used; as if surrender to God is a one-time thing.  I can’t speak for anyone else but I’ve found it’s a choice I make on a daily basis.  In my experience, both the big moment of surrender and then the daily surrenderings are both true.

I have a moment of utter surrender in my life.  It was so momentous that it does separate my life into BEFORE and AFTER.  Various crises and experiences had brought me to a place where I was willing to consider that I was a Christian only because I’d been raised to be one.  Perhaps nothing I believed was true.  I needed to know the Truth, whatever that was.  Everything AFTER that moment has been a glorious adventure of God revealing Himself to me.  It has also been an endurance race of terrible pressures and processing.  There have been times when I’ve drooped on the edge of my bed so raw on the inside that I’ve felt that, if one more thing dropped on me, I would die.  I do not speak in hyperbole: my feelings had a very real effect in and on my body.  My prayers were not great prayers of faith during these times but were rather, “please.  I can’t take anymore.

The pressure would let up for maybe a day.  There would be a moment of refreshing and then it would start all over again.  I didn’t understand what was happening in those early days.  I came to recognize these-shall I call them near death experiences?-were but the portent to a deeper experience of the Life of Jesus Christ being formed in me.  Knowing this does not make these experiences hurt less but it does allow me to experience them in hope.  Jesus has not come into my life and changed my circumstances around so that all is sweetness and light and frolicking in the fields with nary a care or a need and no personal cross in sight.  His coming into my life, into my very self, has often meant circumstances have gotten worse rather than better.  It’s meant destruction of my flesh life but not my real life which is hid in Him.  He has overcome.  He has given His life to me.  He is Lord of my circumstances and will work victory in my life but it requires choosing on my part.  I surrender to Him not once but every moment. 

The reason I was thinking about surrendering as being both a one time and an every moment experience is because I had an opportunity to surrender to the workings of the Life of Christ on the inside of me.  I had a person say one thing about me to my face and then say the opposite thing to anyone who would listen.  I was angry, embarrassed, hurt, and betrayed.  One of my first impulses was to run to someone I knew would listen to ME.  I wanted to pour out the story and have someone tell me how terrible it was, what a big meanie that other person turned out to be, and pour the balm of commiseration on my feelings. 

Right along with this impulse came the command from the Holy Spirit to do no such thing!  I was to be silent!  I was to put this situation and all my resulting feelings in His hands.  Not only that, I was to allow His forgiveness to flow.  My primary desire is to be obedient in all things but I have to admit there are times I feel like I’m choking on said obedience.  It was a fight to obey.  Obedience meant dying to my self-righteousness and living unto Him.  Within a few days, I read something that confirmed my belief that surrendering is not something I did in the past but something I must continue to do every day.  I’ve been going through Andrew Murray’s Abide In Christ devotional and, in the entry for day sixteen, I read:     

“And such surrender of all for Christ, is it a single step, the act and experience of a moment, or is it a course of daily renewed and progressive attainment?  It is both.  There may be a moment in the life of a believer when he gets a first sight, or a deeper insight, of this most blessed truth, and when, made willing in the day of God’s power, he does indeed, in an act of the will, gather up the whole of life yet before him into the decision of a moment, and lay himself on the altar a living and acceptable sacrifice.  Such moments have often been the blessed transition from a life of wandering and failure to a life of abiding and power divine.  But even then his daily life becomes, what the life must be of each one who has no such experience, the unceasing prayer for more light on the meaning of entire surrender, the ever-renewed offering up of all he has to God.”1

After I read this, I began meditating on an interesting verse in 1 Corinthians 15.  “I affirm, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily” the Apostle Paul says (verse 31).  He says this in the midst of speaking of Christ being raised from the dead, His being raised the promise that we too shall be raised, His reigning until all enemies are destroyed, including death, what our heavenly bodies are like…in the midst of all this comes “I die daily.”  I used to think that a strange thing to say until I consider it in the light of both my experience and other scriptures.

In Matthew 16: 24-28 I find, “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me’.”  I have often heard people saying “This is my cross to bear” and by that they mean a co-worker, a neighbor, a family member, or a disease or physical limitation.  I look at this verse and I see they are half right.  The co-worker, neighbor, family member, disease, and physical limitation might be the circumstance that contains the cross but the cross is there for us to die on.  And, I notice how many action verbs there are in this passage.  This denying myself, this taking up of my cross, this following Him is not a one-time moment of surrender.  It is a choice I make every day and I find I have plenty of opportunities each and every day in which to make it.

I die daily.  The Apostle Paul has to be speaking of the little deaths I have no doubt he had to die every day. I read his letters and read of those who followed around behind him disparaging him, his intellect, twisting his message, and imposing legalism on the precious believers. And yet, I don’t get any sense of frustration here.  I read it more as “I die daily!” It is a thing of great joy. 

I understand that joy because I surrender nothing to God but what He does not give me Himself.  Any vindication I would feel at defending myself, any pleasure I would get at retaliation, any feelings of superiority that would come from shredding someone else’s character…all of it belongs to that realm of the flesh-life.  I’m reminded of Proverbs 14:12: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”  I see this reflected in the words of Jesus as I continue to read in Matthew 16:  “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” 

 I always read this scripture and thought it referred to the actual laying down of my life: physical death. My Mom reminded me of a passage in The Song of Solomon: “Catch the foxes for us, yes, the little foxes!  They are ruining the vineyards when our vineyards are in bloom!” (SOS 2:152).  Expositions and commentaries have told me this passage is referring to little sins like jealousy, pride, etc.  I don’t disagree and yet I do think this passage can be applied to the hurts and wrongs that come throughout our daily lives.  Jesus is the vine and I am the branch abiding in Him.  Refusal to surrender to Him when someone wrongs me either behind my back or directly to my face, quenches the Spirit.  Left undealt with, they become the little foxes that destroy the vineyard in bloom.  I see here a picture of a life that cannot bear fruit.

The message during this Sunday’s Church Service was on Psalm 1 and I was struck by verse 3: “He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that brings forth its fruit in its season.”  In season.  It doesn’t happen all at once which is something that makes me deeply grateful as I don’t always feel victorious.  I still have a way to go in surrendering because my first impulses do not align with who I am in Christ.  Neither does forgiveness happen instantaneously.  But then, His expectation is that I bear fruit in season.  He remembers I am but dust (Psalm 103:14).  I reckon myself dead to sin and alive to Christ (Romans 6:11) and I am confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).

Even so, Come Lord Jesus.   

Unless notes otherwise, scriptures are quoted from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible, Thomas Nelson, Inc. 1982

References

  1. Murray, Andrew, Abide in Christ, Barbour and Company, Inc., Uhrichsville, OH, 1985, Page 97
  2. Stern, David H., The Complete Jewish Study Bible, Hendrickson Publishers Marketing, LLC, Peabody, Massachusetts, 2016

Refusing the Golden Apples

12 Monday Jul 2021

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Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

How great is our God!  The Holy Spirit gave me a book.  It is the book I was looking for that I did not know existed.  It is the book that answers a question I could not answer on my own, no matter how I scoured Bible translations and paraphrases, reference books, dictionaries, concordances, and commentaries.  I am convinced it is the book given to me because I put my question and frustrations at my lack of answers into the hands of My Father and trusted His Spirit would guide me into all truth at the proper time.  I am convinced the book is His gift to me because I waited, I listened to His voice, and I obeyed when He told me “no” to all the other books that came across my path.

I started a study on Romans some months-it might even be years-ago.  I did not get passed the first chapter.  My study book asked me to define Paul’s “obedience to the faith” (Romans 1:5) and I could not do so in any deep and meaningful way.  I put aside that study and have been meditating on the meaning of obedience to the faith.  I still don’t have a deep and meaningful definition but I cannot stress enough the importance of obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit.  John 16:13 says, “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, he will guide you into all truth: for He will not speak of His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”  I find this verse beautiful: there is a longing within me to be guided into all Truth and to hear what He is speaking.

I have not found this to be easy.  I have been in churches that had no use for supernatural experiences and thus no use for the Holy Spirit.  I understand this fear.  It was close to eighteen years ago now when I expressed a desire to learn more about the Holy Spirit and prayed some very specific prayers.  I do make jokes about being careful what I pray for because I will get an answer and it never comes the way I expect it to!  I do joke and I do pray with deep consideration but I wouldn’t take anything back.  My life is not worth living if not lived in union with Jesus and the Father and the Spirit.  It’s a crazy life and feels a bit like freefall.  I have promises from Scripture and expectations of them being fulfilled in my life but absolutely no expectation as to how they are going to be fulfilled.  This is frightening but I received a promise from my Father when He first placed my feet on this path and it was that He loved me, I was in His hand, and He would never drop me.  The only response I had was surrender.  I want to assure you that our God is trustworthy and He does keep our feet from slipping.

And yet…there is a learning process.  Discernment, knowing His voice and obeying it did not instantaneously happen.  There was a great deal of trial and error.  I made mistakes.  There were many times when I did not recognize His voice until after the fact and then was left with “if only I’d listened”.  These were valuable mistakes though as I have learned to recognize His voice and the value of immediate obedience, even when that obedience seems foolish.  Malcolm Smith has a fantastic teaching on his YouTube Channel about this called When Iron Swims (see below).  I have learned to obey without always knowing why and yet it still isn’t always easy.  I find obedience especially difficult when it comes to study and purchasing books.  I am an unapologetic book lover and love to learn.  There is not one subject that does not interest me and I find I have to put my books away and spend quality time with the Spirit.  I have to listen and obey when He says “no, don’t buy that one” and that is VERY difficult.  Intellectual pursuits are the biggest distraction for me when it comes to strengthening my relationship with God.

I was thinking about intellectual pursuits being a distraction and was reminded of the myth of Atalanta.  Briefly, her story is this:  An Oracle tells Atalanta not to marry for marriage will be her ruin.  Atalanta thus attempts to dissuade her suiters by stating she’d only marry if a man could outrun her in a footrace: failure to do so would result in death.  The judge of this footrace is Hippomenes and he thinks the men are fools for agreeing to it until he sets eyes on Atalanta.  Of course, all the men fail to win and all are killed.  Hippomenes then puts himself forward but, before running the race, appeals to Aphrodite who bestows three golden apples upon him.  Hippomenes tosses them to the ground at various points during the race, distracts Atalanta from running, and manages to win the race.1

It is the golden apples along the path I am thinking of.  There are many scriptures that liken this Christian life to a race to be run.  I have found it isn’t like running on a track where the lanes are marked and the way is left clear.  I have found my particular race to be difficult.  The path is cluttered and sometimes obscured.  Deviating from the myth, the race does not consist of mere running towards a goal.  There are times of refreshing, tastings of all that awaits, fruit to be enjoyed, which is why these distractions work.  They look like the real deal.

There are times when distractions are rolled in front of me like golden apples.  As long as they hold my attention, I am kept from moving forward.  These distractions appear to be good things.  They look valuable.  They look as if they would help me to fulfill the calling on my life. They look like they would help strengthen me to run this race.  To a one, these distractions have proven to be a lie and a trap.  A trap as they hold my mind captive and blind me to the things of God.  A lie as they invariably prove not to be gold at all.

There is a Hebrew word I like: Nehushtan (Strong’s H5180).  It is the name the Israelites gave to the bronze serpent Moses made when they burned incense to it (2 Kings 18:4).  It is a word that means copper or bronze, base compared to gold or silver2, comparative unimportance of material.3 The Amplified Bible calls Nehushtan “a bronze trifle”4.  It might glitter but it is not gold: it’s Nehushtan.

I am still learning what it means to “love the Lord with all my mind” (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, Matthew 22:37-40, Mark 12:30-31, Luke 10:27) and to “lean not on my own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5-6).  There are so many things that vie for my attention.  They appear in my path, sometimes they roll to the side and seek to compel me to leave my path.  They sparkle in the sunlight and I am not able to discern between gold and a cheap imitation.  I do know every treasure I have sought on my own has ended up being Nehushtan.  My Father knows.  His voice alone is true.  He alone gives real fruit.  He alone has gold that contains nothing base for it has been tried, refined, in the fire.  He alone keeps me from distractions, pretty and shiny as they may be, and reminds me I don’t pursue myths but run for an incorruptible prize (1 Corinthians 9:25).  The greatest gifts come through obedience to Him. 

Heavenly Father, continue to give me ears to hear none but You.  Continue to open the eyes of my heart that I might see You.  Lead me into smooth paths for Your name’s sake.  To You who never leaves me nor forsakes me, I lift my voice and cry, “Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  Amen!”

And amen.

  1. Bulfinch, Thomas, Bulfinch’s Mythology, Crown Publishers, Inc., New York, 1979, Pages 141-143
  2. Strong, James, The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1990
  3. Brown, F., Driver, S., Briggs, C., The Grown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon, Hendrickson Publishers, Peabody, Massachusetts, Eighteenth Printing-September 2018, Page 639
  4. The Comparative Study Bible, The Zondervan Corporation, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1984